ON FATHER’S DAY I MUST BE VERY ATTENTIVE TOWARDS MY HUSBAND AND THIS PROHIBITS ME FROM BEING CREATIVE AND TELLING TALES TO MY ADORING FANS – INSTEAD YOU MUST ENJOY THIS TALE OF MY ADORATION AND ADMIRATION OF MR. GAGA FROM 2012….
Needless to say after last week’s baseball debacle, when several of the boys on Mr. Gaga’s team shit their pants or cried or ran from third to second base, I crucified Mr. Gaga.
I had missed many of these baseball games – seeing as the kids are 6 years old, I figured work obligations were more important. I actually caught one game and was horrified.
“How could you put up with that shit?” I implored him as he looked through his mail and ignored me.
“Heeelllooo???? Are you listening??? You are coaching these kids into little monsters!! Do you think Derek Jeter’s dad would put up with this?”
“They are just little kids and their own parents don’t care – so what can I do?” he said tossing the mail onto the counter.
“Well – I would never put up with it.”
“Well – I have a lot more patience than you do,” he said on his way out the door to unnecessarily mow the lawn.
*I assume that it was unnecessary because “mowing the lawn” is Mr. Gaga’s go-to move to escape from me for at least an hour and create a situation where he “can’t hear me.”
Anyways – he’s right. He’s more patient than me – by like ….a hundred gazillion percent.
While I can be found frantically chasing the kids around counting to three and threatening to beat them, he will get much better results by just calmly telling them what to do.
Of course this laid-back attitude can have some downsides, as in giving the kids donuts twice a day for snack when I am at work, starting 5 different LEGO projects and leaving the pieces all over the house, choosing to grab a Quizno’s sandwich for someone who clearly ordered an Italian combo, and so on.
But for the most part – he is a great Dad and husband, and not only has patience for the kids – but is incredibly patient with me. Nothing I say or do really fazes him (although I think this is often as a result of blatantly ignoring me.)
I can be pretty bitchy – and he deflects like no other. The other day I was in a little bit of a snippy mood while we were about to get ready for bed.
Mr. Gaga took off his shirt and was inspecting himself in the bathroom mirror. Normally not very hairy – I have noticed in his old age – he has grown some more hair. It’s not much – but let’s just say this is what Mr. Gaga looked like when I met him:
And this is what he looks like now:
I plopped onto bed and picked up my US Weekly and started flipping through, and said casually, “You know – you will probably have to start doing some “man-scaping” – because I didn’t sign up to be with a hairy man….”
Without missing a beat – he looked at me and said,
“Yeah – well…neither did I and how did that work out?”
What could I do but laugh hysterically?
The trick is – he doesn’t take life too seriously and I definitely do.
His patience coupled with his ability to be calm and content – inevitably allows him to enjoy life.
Oh – how I wish I could do that.
How great life would be with no worries.
Being content and stress-free is a quality that I continually strive for to no avail.
Last year – as I was running around the house trying to get ready for work one Saturday, I missed the bottom couple of steps and fell and snapped my ankle.
I screamed and Mr. Gaga came running down the stairs to rescue me.
When he picked me up from the heap I was in and realized that I was fine,
he just looked at me and said, “Lady, you have to SLOW down.”
I am trying.
Happy Father’s Day to Mr. Gaga and to my dad and to any adoring Dad fans that might be reading this….
XO, LADY GOO GOO GAGA