Giada for Dummies

My website address has changed!!  It was long overdue – I gave myself a facelift.  I would really love a real facelift that would get rid of my weathered look brought on by my wretched children  

wrinkles…but for now this will have to do.

From now on – you will find me at

That home page picture you see is me saying something very important to say at the tender age of 4, with my mother in the background not paying any attention to my very important speech!!

This week I have been busy but I have to do a quick post about food!

I am not a food blogger – but….I am very fat and love to eat,  I make fun of my friends that give their kids chicken nuggets every night for dinner,  I make fun of Irish people that think that shepard’s pie is food, 

I could be.

I love food and my heart soars when I cook something and people enjoy it.  Also, please note that I am only of the few mothers in Goopville that cooks for their children.  These mothers don’t generally consume much food themselves, and cooking big family meals doesn’t seem to be popular around here.

If I had a dime for every time these basic bitches in Goopville told me they don’t know what to make for dinner I would be a rich woman.

There aren’t many Italians around these parts.

I hear all sorts of horror stories.

“I give the kids waffles for dinner.”  “I buy already prepared macaroni and cheese and then scoop it onto plates and my husband thinks I made it from scratch.”  “What’s a chicken cutlet?”  “We just go to Olive Garden sometimes when we have late games.”

It’s enough to make a nice Italian girl’s skin crawl.

It is not hard to make easy and delicious dinners!! Yes I have been know to fry up cutlets in the morning before work.  And yes, I recently made a delicious baked ziti and my spoiled 8 year-old-son told me that “It wasn’t my best work.”

No more baked ziti for this ungrateful family.
No more baked ziti for this ungrateful family.

But still…I can help you mothers who don’t know what to do for dinner.  This week Giada Delaurentis has enlisted my help to promote her book tour.

Who am I to say no to Giada.

Giada is that skinny little thing that says “mozzarella” and “ricotta” in a very exaggerated manner on the Food Network and on the Today Show.

Look how excited she is about food! This is my kind of woman...
Look how excited she is about food! This is my kind of woman…

Tonight I made one of Giada’s recipes that all of you can make and your family will love you.

So now you can pretend! that you are Italian.

And let’s be real people – you all wish you were Italian.

madge italians

And if you don’t …you are stupid and your taste buds don’t work.

So back to Giada’s my recipe.

Buy ground chicken, mix it up with parsley, grated cheese, eggs, breadcrumbs, a little milk and ketchup and salt and pepper…Make little meatballs. (Mom tip! Buy extra pound of ground chicken and add some chopped garlic and oregano and set aside. Use this mixture to make 8 chicken patties…the next night you can put patties on rolls with marinara and cheese and basil for chicken parm slider dinner!)


Fry up meatballs and set aside.  Chop a package of cherry or grape tomatoes in half and then saute in olive oil. Add the meatballs.

tomatos meatballs


Boil up some Orichette Pasta.  You will find this in the pasta aisle of your nearest grocery.  I am sure most of you are accustomed to elbows and spaghetti – but it’s there…just peruse the aisle.

When you use pasta that is not commonly served at the Olive Garden you will find that humans respond happily!

Slice up small pieces of mozzarella and mix into the sauce and pour over the pasta.


giada recipe complete

For dessert – everyone will be so full – you can just serve “whip-its.”

Your family will thank Giada  me.


Here is the full recipe from Giada herself:

So Giada has been so generous with me and all of you! She is offering two tickets to her appearance in Hartford on November 3, 2015 for a deserving reader!!

I would like you to put some bad-ass food porn on my facebook page or email me pictures!  If you would like to include the recipe that wouldn’t hurt either.  It should be something that we can all recreate easily and it should be something that will make people think that we are cooking experts!!

Post pics and recipes starting now!!!

I look forward to seeing what you guys can do!






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