Because it’s Father’s Day I had to not ask Mr. Gaga to do anything, I had to not complain about anything in the house.
I had to not be bitchy or snippy.
I had to bite my tongue when he was watching Rocky in the middle of the day for no apparent reason, and I had to smile robotically when he said he had to go to my brother’s house at 2 o’clock in the afternoon “because smoking wings takes hours and we need to start early to have them ready for dinner.”
As a result I am totally mentally drained.
This week I am offering a very short and sweet tale.
Mr. Gaga wasn’t always Mr. Gaga.
He used to have his own hopes and dreams that didn’t include me.
Even after we were dating for a while, he repeatedly attempted to break it off.
“I don’t think we should go out anymore….we have to break up.” he would say.
“No.” I would answer back.
“I am going to go out with other people.” he would plead.
“Yeah, no…..you’re not.” I would calmly answer.
“I don’t like you.” he would say when he was at the end of his rope.
“Yes you do…you love me.” I would answer back.
Finally when nothing he would say would stick he would just throw his hands up and say “Ok fine – forget it.”
I was always making this poor guy do things that he didn’t want to do.
I had visions of romance and love and I would make him to take me to fancy restaurants, buy me fancy gifts, write me fancy letters.
I was 19.
One night around the time that he kept trying to break up with me, I had planned a romantic night in watching movies in my college dorm while all of our friends were out at a bar.
We were about to start the movie, and I excused myself to go to the bathroom.
When I came back Mr. Gaga was missing.
I looked out the window.
This guy was so determined to get away from me, he jumped out a second story window, landed in some bushes and I could see him running down the street towards the bar.
Thinking quick on my feet I tossed aside my lounge clothes and put on my “Break up shirt.”
*Because Mr. Gaga was frequently breaking up with me, I had special clothes I wore during tumultuous times, called “break-up shirts” that basically allowed me to go out naked, ensuring I would receive much attention from men out at the bar.
In the end, no matter what he did, he just couldn’t manage to escape.
He stopped trying after a while, and we were in love.
Then we had kids, and though we still love each other, things can get hectic around here and sometimes I yell at him or act a smidge bitchy.
Also I started a mom blog in which he stars as “Mr. Gaga.” I mean what more could a guy want?
Sometimes he might secretly dream of jumping out that window, running like the wind into the night and drinking shots and beers until he can’t stand up.
Thankfully, he no longer acts on it.
He’s learned over time that there’s no use trying to escape….he will be Mr. Gaga forever.
THE LESSON HERE IS A LITTLE STALKING NEVER HURT ANYONE AND CAN SOMETIMES PAY OFF! I am a lucky girl. Happy Father’s Day to Mr. Gaga and all the Dads out there!
XO, LADY GOO GOO GAGA